Saturday, March 10, 2012

New


New Post

New Job

New City

New Home

New Life

All in one week.

And what a glorious week it has been. In the past 7 days, I have relocated across the state, moved into a new house, got a new roommate, joined a new ward, lost and found my phone, and started a new job.

The months of job hunting have finally paid off, and last month I was offered a great position doing grief counseling for a non-profit hospice agency. It pays more than I've ever even hoped to make, and it is for an agency that does an unbelievable amount of good in this community.

Sounds too good to be true, right?

Right.

I've always had an interest in bereavement, but counseling people scares me. Who am I to provide guidance to others? This was not my plan when I went into social work, but here I am now, and this is what I am doing with my time. I can't do much more than pray, and work to make myself as good as I can possibly be at this job for which I do not feel adequate.

You want to know a secret? I have an irrational fear of getting fire, and I'm scared that all that is happening to me right now is too good to be true. I'm scared that I won't be cut out for all that they are going to ask me to do. I'm scared that any minute now, someone will pull me into their office and inform me that it has all been a mistake. Or worse, that three months from now someone will pull me into their office and inform me that it just isn't working out. Blah.

Just to be safe, I'm gonna keep sending out resumes. I remember how bad it was trying to find a job after my bachelors degree, and I really don't want to experience that again. Although I guess that might jinx myself. Hmmmm... now I don't know what to do.

I think I'm going to go and curl up in a ball and hide somewhere.

2 comments:

kura2025 said...

LOVE the new format. And if you get fired there's always plans B-ZZ.

Cori said...

Rah Rah-
That's the old imposter demon gettin at ya. Shoo her away and allow the goodness in you to do it's thing. Use what you've learned and get going. If you don't have confidence in yourself, have confidence in those of us who have GREAT confidence in you!
You are meant to do this, and you will be a gift in the lives of many people.
Yay for you!