Sunday, November 20, 2011

Anxious...


Lately I’ve been anxious. About everything. Literally everything. I’ve started to read catastrophic implications into minor occurrences in my life.  I blame the cast of Grey’s Anatomy.  That show is way too dramatic! It is addicting and I don’t even like it!

Example one: Sally the Car is going in for new part on Monday. After she got her oil changed last Saturday, the mechanic told me she needs a new part (something about a control arm). So ever since then, I‘ve been having visions of me and Sally plunging off a cliff because the control arm fails. The old me would have been mildly concerned, but driven as usual until I had time to get her in.  The current me is so anxious that I have refused to drive Sally for the last three days. I’ve started to wonder how I will be able to get to work without a car, and if I will lose my job because of it, or if I will not be able to make it to the last couple weeks of school because of it. The mechanic will see her on Monday at 8 am. He is 50 miles away. So let us all pray that Sally is able to make it those 50 miles.

Example two: I’ve also had a lot of people yell at me lately. Now, as my mother will attest to, my definition of “yell” does not actually imply a raised voice; it implies people using a forceful tone to tell me something that I don’t want/need to hear. But it still frustrates me. The old me would take it all in stride, but recently those things have made me anxious. Instead of blowing it off, the current me has started to worry about my job, my school, my success as a social worker, and a number of other things.

I used to be the most easygoing person in the world, but the last few weeks I’ve started to feel differently. What gives? Could it just be all the changes in my life right now? Will things calm down? Or will this just be the way it is?

2 comments:

jacksgram said...

Lizzy, the anxiety is totally understandable given all the changes and uncertainty you are facing in your immediate future! I would be more concerned if you had no anxiety! Most people handle them with OCD's and pharmaceuticals! I'm pretty sure you know what I'm about to advise but here it is.....TRUST IN THE LORD! Only He sees the big picture. All will be OK, no matter what the immediate outcome. Also, do some things that will help you focus on other than school and job.
Love you so much!

Jessica Rabbit said...

...this is usually the time when I break down, sob for hours on end, and then finally square my shoulders, listen to some Christina Aguilera, and march straight ahead through hell and high water.
I imagine, since you have always been a person I admire far above myself, that you will cope much better (and with far superior taste in music), but that doesn't mean you can't milk the meltdown first.

Okay in all seriousness: it's okay. Your life is a roller coaster sometimes; it only makes sense to feel a bit queasy. Just relax and watch some Scrubs. ;) AND FOR THE GRILLED CHEESUS'S SAKE, ABANDON GREY'S ANATOMY!